I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize