We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
