so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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