I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Randomize
