With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
