i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
