highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
