I will die if light touches me.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
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