My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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