Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
