just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
i out mim tonsoeep
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