I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
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