I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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