apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
