some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Randomize
