I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
