Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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