We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
