Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
