So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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