wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
