dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
