Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
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why do cheetos always look like penises
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
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