Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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