Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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