people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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