Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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