Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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