ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
