Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
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