Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
