i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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