What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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