K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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