I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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