that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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