Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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