i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
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