Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I can't put those talents on a resume
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
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