I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
