I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
