Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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