i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
