Tell her she can't have a vagina
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
