Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
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