I heard we made out
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
