her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
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