i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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