She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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