Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
