talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
they need to just BURY HIM!
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
