Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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