I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
