dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
