Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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