she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
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