I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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