Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Randomize
