Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Randomize
