when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
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