I hope mine doesn't look like that
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
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