Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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